One Year

It's been one year today. You'll see it all over the news. That is a bit comforting, to know that it's not just me and those others that were in Haiti on January 12 last year that are still remembering. I remember thinking at the moment of the earthquake that it wouldn't even make the evening news in America. But I was wrong. The whole world turned its attention to this little Caribbean nation, and the whole world watched their remarkable response to tragedy: they lifted their hands and their voices to God, in worship and prayer. I spent a sleepless night on a soccer field with 2000 of them as they led us in a stunning symphony of prayer, praise, worship, scripture quotation and tears. One lady standing nearby must have been their worship leader, because her voice was so pure, so strong, so tireless. She sang for hours. When one group's praying quieted, another group picked up with a song. When they grew silent, someone started to quote Psalms. We heard Psalm 121 repeatedly. "I will lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."

The lap of the Father.

One year later, what are my thoughts? It's only 8 in the morning, so I have yet to get through much of the day, but so far mostly tears, sadness, grief for the losses. Tears of thankfulness for my own safety of the safety of those I know. Tears of gratitude to be home with my loved ones. Lots of tears. These tears have made their appearance many times over the past year. At first, I was waking up in the night sobbing uncontrollably, and finding myself in the middle of my day having to stop and go be alone to cry for a while. And I found I couldn't get through a single worship service at church, when everyone was singing of the goodness of God, worshiping Him...it was too tender of a spot in my heart. I had truly tasted a mere sip of the glories of the presence of God and it overwhelmed me. As the year went on, I found I had to restrain my heart from going too close. I didn't like that feeling of having to hold back from experiencing God.

So this morning, I let it flow. Listening to music written by anointed songwriters and sung by golden voices, I wept. I weep for the great loss. I weep for the hopelessness. I weep for pain and suffering of so many. I weep for the children who have no parents. I weep for the lack of order. I weep for the magnitude of the recovery. I weep for the burdens my friends bear. I weep for the lack of restoration even one year later. I weep for the confusion.

But I also cry because of the example set before me of choosing to worship when all is lost. This has been a life altering lesson for me and every time I think about those people with their hands in the air walking through the rubble, I feel challenged.

Since we are at the beginning of a new year, I have been thinking a lot about goals, resolutions. I had some, but today I am thinking my Number One goal should be to train my heart and mind to worship in every circumstance. The immediate response. So if a rock hits my windshield, "thank you Lord." If I get sick, "praise you Jesus." If we lose our business, "God, you are good."

Lord, turn your eye toward Haiti today. Let your lovingkindness flow in that place in 2011. May the power of your Holy Spirit enable strong and good leadership to rise up and transform this small nation. May it be a testimony of your faithfulness, as your people join together and humble themselves and pray and repent for the sins of their nation - may you then restore their land to a shining example of your goodness. I pray that we will look back, many years from now, and see the hand of the Lord at work to build a nation of people that is a bright light in the world. And may I learn to turn to you with thanksgiving in every circumstance, in every blessing and in every trial. Thank you, oh God, and may your name be glorified throughout the earth.